It's my turn to be brave.

Another song quote! This is from next to normal. I was listening to the song, and Henry said that line, and I’m like, He’s right.

We’re living in a day and age where girls are dating before they are in middle school! Where a song isn’t “good” unless it involves drinking or drugs! SOPA is taking over. The way to fame is a sex tape (which is why i still have faith in Broadway). The world is in chaos. And want to know what else I realized? I can’t really do much about it. I am one in six-something billion. What can I do to make an effect on the world?

I just realized how my blogs go from one topic to the next. I was supposed to talk about Glee. I loved Glee today. I mean, it would have been better if Blaine had any lines… It made me realize how often some characters have episodes where they say nothing… Aw. So I was thinking about Finn’s dad’s death. I mean, part of my brain is trying to convince myself that it wasn’t real. Well, the show would have still worked without that scene. And Carole looks completely different in every episode. I think it’s because she’s only been in, like, 6 episodes.

I’m having an Emma-Pillsbury-Moment. Every time I touch this keyboard, I have to wipe away the finger prints. Ugh. I don’t know why I’m always like this at night.

Now I’m listening to “I am the One” from n2n (it’s quicker than typing ‘next to normal’.) I just realized it would have been faster to just write the full name…

Anyway, I feel like I need to give out virtual hugs to everyone. Today just feels like a day where I need to give virtual hugs. So here it is: me-> (>’-‘)> <(‘-‘<) <-you Feel better? I do <3

So, goodnight Tumblrverse! Remember that YOU ARE ALIVE. (another n2n reference. I am in love with that song.) Bye everyone!

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PS: just in case anyone ever thought this in their life- if I want to be a psychologist or a therapist, please don’t ask why I’d ever want to work with “freaks”. I love my “freaks”. My close friends and some of my family are “freaks”. Am I a closet-freak because I’m afraid of talking to therapists? I feel like someone on Glee has been called a closet-freak before. Anyway, please don’t insult my “freaks”. If something happened to them, I’d go insane. Then you’d have another “freak” on your hands. Thank you.

PPS: Yes, a kid got his hair cut at school today. Do you really have to stop in the middle of the hallway to stare? Mention it in every class? He didn’t look that different.

Okay, I really need to go now. I am in soooo much pain for some reason. My neck, arms, shoulders, hips, and stomach hurts. Ouch. Time to feel like death. Yay…

“Control” has kind of become my new song. Not my favorite song, but have you ever had a song that you just feel like it describes your life perfectly? This is mine. My control. I’m trying to control more and more lately. I guess I just feel like I need my voice to count more in my life. So one of my New Year’s Resolutions was to control my life more. I don’t know how well I’m doing so far, but I was listening to the song and I just wanted to write about my need for control. =) And speaking of control, I control this blog. I control what I say, and control what I do. I hope you enjoy this blog as much as I do.

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I went Lazer Tagging last night. I went to a midnight to 6 AM party with my USY youth group. It wasn’t as fun as last year, but I played cards as 4 AM, I was one of the few people who DIDN’T cheat on the arcade games, I set a security alarm off (I know, it was a matter of time.), and I slept with a bunch of horny Jews. NO. NOT SLEPT WITH. GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER. I SLEPT ON THE FLOOR IN A ROOM. I actually barely got any sleep because the stupid air vent WOULDN’T TURN OFF.

Anyway, so back to my alarm story. It’s one of those things where I find it super embarrassing, but everyone else forgot it after an hour. I hate when I remember embarrassing things… *memories of Hebrew school overnight in 6th grade…* So, you know those basketball games at arcades? This place had a mini version. So my friend Sabrina and I were looking at the machine, and I pointed at the sensor. Apparently when the machine isn’t playing, if something goes past the sensor, the alarm goes off. Which is weird, because it didn’t happen the other times that other people did it…

Anyway, I JUST POINTED AT IT! But the alarm went off. And it was LOUD. (this is coming from someone who doesn’t have perfect hearing, so it was probably louder for everyone else.) Anyway, so I just yelled “I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING!” and I ran away.

Real smooth, Sam. No wonder you’re so bad at lying.

Anyway, so now I’m incredibly tired. I’m really mad at myself because I didn’t get to edit my english essay more. My dad was helping me with math, and we kept messing up, so almost 2 hours of my day were dedicated to math.

Oh! And rehearsals were very fun. So was my weekly Friday Night sleepover with Kassie and Lana. We talked about… Stuff. Let’s leave it at that. And we made cookies at 9 at night =) they were very yummy. Triple Chocolate Chunk.

What else… I’m dreading social studies tomorrow. I know it won’t be as bad as I’m making it seem in my mind. I just feel so bad, you know? I mean, I’ve never been rejected by a crush, so I don’t know what it’s exactly like, but I DO know what rejection feels like (English essays, TV auditions, theater auditions, friends… Must I go on?), and I know that it SUCKS.

But anyway, Lana just messaged me (finally, haha), JUST AS I WAS ABOUT TO GO TO SLEEP. Anyway, good night Tumblrverse. Hopefully I’ll have better news tomorrow. LIKE GLEE! =)

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“Anyway” Count: 6

I feel in a quote-y mood. In the words of 4-year-old me,

“It turned out to be a good day after all.” - Sam, age 4

It turned out to be a good WEEK, actually. First, my awesome friends Lana and Kassie were incredibly awesome at listening to me rant. Actually, I guess it was more of a three-way-rant. But basically, now I’m listening to Tick Tick Boom and I’m feeling amazing, and I really think that they had something to do with it =)

Next quote:

“Actions speak louder than words.” - Tick Tick Boom

I think that this is one of my new life mottos. I mean, this week really tested my mental sanity. Between English (which I bet nobody wants to listen about anymore), being a hearkbreaker, and rehearsals, I felt like I needed to SCREAM. And so what did I do? I sucked it up and wrote the English essay, had my friend be my heartbreaker assistant (thanks Brittany!) and went to rehearsals like a good little Ursula/Helen should.

Oh, I need to say what happened with my crush situation! Long story short, I had my friend (mentioned above) tell him for me, because I couldn’t bring myself to say that I had a boyfriend. And what did he say?

“I don’t care.” - The guy who has a crush on me.

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN??? Let me just say that I’m glad that it’s a long weekend. Maybe by Monday I’ll stop hyperventilating. I’m just afraid that he’s going to be that obnoxious guy who says “And I have a math test, they’re both things we can cheat on.”

Ughhhhhhhhh. Life can be so confusing. I wish I could just skip ages 14-18, because so far they aren’t very fun. I mean, my favorite times of the week is Friday night and Monday night. A.K.A, my time with my musical theater people.

But basically, I realized that sometimes you just have to just look at yourself in the mirror and say,

“Wow, look at you. You’re pretty awesome by the way. Even if you can’t say no to anything.” - Me, a few days ago.

So next time that you look in the mirror, think about how awesome you are and how awesome it is that you got this far in life! I mean, let’s face it, we all have our off weeks, and I know it can seem like life is purposely giving you crap, but… when life gives you crap, flush it away!

THAT WAS AN AWESOME QUOTE BY THE WAY. I EXPECT IT TO BE IN YOUR “FAVORITE QUOTES” ON FACEBOOK.

Well, by everyone. Hope your week ended up better than you thought it would. And hopefully, this week will be even better!

Oh, and wish me luck with my heartbreakage! (.5 down, 1.5 to go for this week…)

Bye Tumblrverse!